One step-father who felt unappreciated decided he wasn’t about to take the disrespect lying down. But the question is, did he go over the top to get revenge?

What it takes to be a good stepfather

Being a stepparent is no easy task. There are a lot of murky waters and uncertain aspects when it comes to situations like this. In many cases, many stepparents find themselves trying to balance being there for their stepchildren without making it look like they want to take over the role of the biological parent.

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According to Fathers, one of the ways to ensure this type of misunderstanding doesn’t happen is by vocalizing and communicating your role in the home. Don’t just assume your stepchild will read between the lines. Use your words to explain that you aren’t seeking to replace their bio parents.

If this is understood, another important step is to show your commitment to your partner. Your stepchild may not be super open to this in the beginning and this is why patience is crucial. Don’t let up on expressing your love and devotion to your partner until your stepchild comes around.

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A study that delved into step-parenthood actually came to the conclusion that this relationship does take time to grow. There will be good and bad days especially in the first couple of years. But in addition to riding it out, another study concluded that it’s best for stepparents to act more like friends in the early stages to aid a smoother transition.

What happens when you’ve put in all the work to make your partner and their children happy, and you end up feeling disrespected at the end of the day?

Stepdad and step-daughter’s wedding drama

A stepdad took to Reddit to share how his stepdaughter broke his heart by asking her biological father, who was hardly there for most of her life, to walk her down the aisle.

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The poster narrated how he paid for his step-daughter’s college education and how he had been there for her in the ten years since he began dating her mother. During this time, the step-dad wrote that his step-daughter’s biological dad would flitter in and out of her life.

The stepdad went on to narrate how his stepdaughter announced, during a family dinner, that her real father would walk her down the aisle on her wedding day. This news was in addition to not allowing him to invite his close friends to the wedding.

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The poster felt he has had enough so, during the same dinner, he revealed that he was going to withdraw funding for the wedding. He announced to everyone that since it appeared he was only considered the ‘ATM’ of his family, he was no longer going "to shell out 40 — 50 grand" for the nuptials.

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Another stepdad faced a similar dilemma and also revealed on Reddit that after offering to pay for his step-daughter’s destination wedding, she told him she wanted her estranged father to walk her down the aisle. He said this had him considering withdrawing his financial support.

Things that can quickly destroy a stepparent-stepchild relationship

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If you’re hoping to have a smooth and happily blended family, you must avoid these mistakes by stepparents that can lead to the opposite.

• Playing favorite: When both partners already have their respective kids, it’s pertinent that neither of them plays favorites by making their own biological children a priority. This can happen subconsciously so you must intentionally watch out for that, Goodmenproject advises.
• Taking everything personally: According to Stepfamilycenter, try not to take it personally and lash out when your stepchild misbehaves. Kids have to go through a transition before they can embrace a new parent so it’s important to be patient.
• Withdrawing your love as punishment: While you don’t need to be a doormat, you also shouldn’t withdraw affection because you feel your stepkids don’t reciprocate. This will not make things better. Let them know you care and are there for them even when they don’t seem to appreciate it.

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Being a stepparent takes a lot of commitment. It can be very tough sometimes and in many cases, it can make your relationship complicated. But remember that this is also a learning process for the child(ren) involved. And while the transition process may be draining sometimes, when you all keep working at it, it will be one of the most rewarding things ever.

As for these stories above, one can understand why these stepdads feel left out especially when they feel they have been there for their stepchild for many years. What would you advise them to do?