5 Useful Tips For Parents To Help Children In Managing Anger
Anger amongst kids can stem from a host of emotional triggers, and it is logical to conclude that the environment, in the recent years, has not been helpful to a child’s moral and emotional intelligence.
An observation supported by Dr. Michele Borba in parents.com suggested:
…steady onslaught of violent images on television, video games, the internet, movies, music lyrics, and in our newspapers are hurting our children.
However, it is important to learn to understand our children, to make them feel understood, and help them deal with the anger in as much a proactive way as possible lest they resort to reactionary and violent ways.
Facebook video role model
The Love What Matters Facebook page recently featured a video where a father had an honest interaction with his sulking preteen daughter. In that video, he acknowledges the child’s right to get angry with him for hurting her feelings.
He lovingly reassures her self-esteem as he expresses empathy and suggests to the child the option of taking a walk outside with the hopes of feeling much better.
This laudable setting goes a long way in teaching a child not to deaden his/her feelings or “man-up” as the case may be, but to explore healthier and safer ways to manage their feelings. An old Buddha quote goes:
You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger.
5 tips for parents to help their kids
A few of them include:
- Every child looks up to their parent(s) for behavioral development, therefore, as a parent, you must model what you desire from your child. If you want to teach a child calmness when he /she is provoked to anger, then you must exhibit calmness as well in the similar setting.
- A child needs to know that you both are on the same team. Remind your child that you do understand what it feels like to be hurt and angry that way the child does not feel guilty which can further unsettle the child.
- Develop ways together with the child to express the source of his frustration or irritation either in words or in pictures. Often, it’s actually the inability of the child to communicate his discomfort that irks him. Then create a strategy to help him deal with his feelings, like taking deep systematic breaths or taking a walk.
- As much as you would want to empathize with the child, make sure you remain a parent. This involves setting boundaries on how the child responds at those critical moments. For example, the child must not stomp, throw tantrums, or hit the dog or objects, or utter expletives.
- Spend enough quality time with your child. The more he feels loved and secure the healthier he will develop emotionally.
It is also important to end with this tip: seek professional help if the child expresses persistent episodes of aggression.