“I Do Not Help My Wife”: A Man’s Post Evoked A Heated Discussion On The Social Network
Well, don’t make foregone conclusions with the title of the article. You must be thinking of how a man can be so selfish and not help his wife. Why should a woman do anything at all after that? Patriarchal family values are focused around a man, responsible for his home and offspring, while his woman preserves all of that.
Well, it is difficult not to become selfish with such lifestyle since everything is on your fragile shoulders.
A genuine couple is like a duet – two hearts and two destinies accept their roles and don’t succumb to life circumstances, leaving the other to the mercy of fate. Such couples have a single path – joint troubles, mischief, and even tears.
Some of the internet users are quite concerned about this topic. Their reaction was particularly strong after noticing a post of a young man who described an ordinary life situation that revealed the problem of relationships within young families:
A friend came to my house for coffee, we sat and talked about life. At some point in the conversation, I said, “I’m going to wash the dishes and I’ll be right back.”
He looked at me as if I had told him I was going to build a space rocket. Then he said to me with admiration but a little perplexed: “I’m glad you help your wife, I do not help because when I do, my wife does not praise me. Last week I washed the floor and no thanks.”
I went back to sit with him and explained that I did not “help” my wife. Actually, my wife does not need help, she needs a partner. I am a partner at home and through that society are divided functions, but it is not a “help” to do household chores.
I do not help my wife clean the house because I live here too and I need to clean it too.
I do not help my wife to cook because I also want to eat and I need to cook too.
I do not help my wife wash the dishes after eating because I also use those dishes.
I do not help my wife with her children because they are also my children and my job is to be a father.
I do not help my wife to wash, spread or fold clothes, because the clothes are also mine and my children.
I am not a help at home, I am part of the house. And as for praising, I asked my friend when it was the last time after his wife finished cleaning the house, washing clothes, changing bed sheets, bathing her children, cooking, organizing, etc. You said thank you
But a thank you of the type: Wow, sweetheart !!! You are fantastic!!!
Does that seem absurd to you? Are you looking strange? When you, once in a lifetime, cleaned the floor, you expected in the least, a prize of excellence with great glory … why? You never thought about that, my friend?
Maybe because for you, the macho culture has shown that everything is her job.
Perhaps you have been taught that all this must be done without having to move a finger? Then praise her as you wanted to be praised, in the same way, with the same intensity. Give her a hand, behave like a true companion, not as a guest who only comes to eat, sleep, bathe and satisfy needs … Feel at home. In his house.
The real change of our society begins in our homes, let us teach our sons and daughters the real sense of fellowship!”
So, what would you say? Are patriarchal values propagandized in the modern world? Is such equality possible today? It will probably be the best to answer with his own words:
The real change of our society begins in our homes.
Mary and Peter Camiolo / GoFundMe.com
Psychologists believe that a man’s paramount role in the house is a daily breader and protector because he should be able to build a decent house, get quality food and make sure the family has enough space. Meanwhile, a woman should feel how to help him and preserve what he has already managed to acquire.
In real life, the boundaries of conquering the world are erased since we don’t live in a primitive society. Both a man and a woman can pay utility bills, fix the tilted closet door, buy groceries in the supermarket, and take care of the child.
There are also several supporters of another point of view. They claim that equality, especially in the matter of wealth, is practically unattainable.
Is there a way out for a woman that works for the family well-being with a parasitic husband on her neck? Or should a man tolerate the wife’s whims, constantly demanding more from him?
Well, this opinion is also partially true, but that is completely another topic for discussion.