One of the cruel things you can do is taken on the role of a monster-in-law in the life of your child and their family. Usually, the role of a mother-in-law is about offering support and love. Your son/daughter and their family should be able to come to you for comfort, assistance, and encouragement.

According to OneCountry, there are a few types of MiLs out there. You may have the jealous mother-in-law, the needy ones, the types who want to control everything and then you have the ones that are just a downright pain to have around.

As they say, treat others in the same way you’ll like to be treated. So look out for these signs of a bad and toxic mother-in-law, and if you’re guilty of these behaviors, desist from them immediately.

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8 Signs of a monster-in-law

1. Expressing your dislike with snide comments

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It’s not a given that you must like your child’s spouse since you aren’t the one marrying them. But when you go out of your way to make them know you dislike them, this can be stressful. If you’re guilty of making snide, rude comments to your son or daughter-in-law, making them feel like they irritate you or just being plain nasty, you are being a really bad in-law.

2. You insist you’re always right

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One sign of a narcissistic mother-in-law is that she believes she’s never wrong. In all arguments, you want to make sure you get the last word. You think everyone should listen to you and do exactly what you say, every single time.

3. You give unsolicited advice

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You’re an overbearing mother-in-law if you always butt in and tell the family what to do even when they don’t ask you. To make matters worse, you become really offended and angry when they don’t take your advice.

4. You engage in smear tactic

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This refers to when you go around saying bad things about your son or daughter-in-law to other members of the family. It can be your passive-aggressive way of dealing with having no control.

5. You’re too critical

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You cause serious mother-in-law problems if you become too critical of your child’s spouse. An example is cleaning their home when you visit or changing things because it’s not to your taste. It gives the impression that you disapprove of how they handle things.

6. You’re needy

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One of the jealous mother-in-law signs is when you’re super needy. You want your child all to yourself and feel like you’re competing with their spouse for their attention. You may even guilt trip your son or daughter when they don’t put you above their spouse and children.

7. You don’t respect boundaries

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Many families understand that setting boundaries with in-laws is very important. But a bad mother-in-law will not respect those boundaries. You go to their home without prior notice. You butt in everywhere. You make decisions for them when they don’t ask you and you may even end up doing things that concern them without their permission.

8. You withhold affection

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Whether it’s your way of gaining control or punishing them for not listening to you, withholding your love from your child and family is a manipulative and narcissistic move.

How a bad mother-in-law affects a family

When you’re not a supportive MiL, it’s not just your child’s spouse that suffers, your grandchildren may be affected too. When they see you treat their mom or dad in such a cruel and mean way, it can create tension for them and overall, you come off like a bad grandmother.

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There are many reasons why a woman can turn into a toxic mother-in-law. And yes, it’s possible you aren’t doing any of these things on purpose. But the good news is that it’s not too late to change if this list applies to you. Today, make the decision to be a kind and supportive mother-in-law, and your family will be happier for it.

The material in this article is for informational purposes only and does not replace the advice of a certified specialist.